brew.

My brother walks by and witnesses my turning the coffee pot wrong side up to get the last bits into my favorite green mug. "Addict" he mumbles as he passes by.

"UhhhhIiiii I just like the way it tastes."

Hmmph.




This summer I've done some untangling.
My ideas tend to run aimless laps in my head into a big fat knot. I usually don't know where to put things and what ideas should stay ideas and what ideas I should embrace and be challenged by.

But it's less and less scary every day. The whole idea-sorting process. Sure, I feel a lot of pressure right now in my decision making, but I'm sure the majority of the pressure is coming from me. The world might be smaller than I see it in my head. I sat under a tree with maggie gyllenhaal, for goodness sake. It can't be that big. I'll do fine. Yeah, I may not know whhhaat I'll do, but I know I'm capable. Truth is, I have a lot of time. Not just 3 years left to decide what the rest of my life will look like. And I won't be stuck. That's why I'm going to college, right? So I have options. Options have always scared me in the past, but now I'm so grateful they'll exist after this whole college things passes me by.
I'm not gonna rush or worry. What do I want to study? That I can figure out. What will I be passionate about when I'm older? No idea. Older me needs some room to grow.